This was said by one of the best Supernatural characters: Chuck.
He was the “prophet” that wrote the Supernatural books in that universe, kind of doing this odd Inception shit. I still think that he’s God and has either forgotten or needed to get away from his asshole angels for a while.
Anyway, back on topic. Writing really is hard. Back in the fall of 2012 I wrote a novel for Nanowrimo. That was possibly the easiest part of the job. I sat down every day and wove my story for the first time. It was messy and there were some days I would just write a trash scene to write something. So much of it didn’t make the first cut.
Hubs and I moved to California and I used those first few unemployed months to make the first round of cuts and revisions. This is where I weeded out the unnecessary and replaced it with firmer storytelling.
I cannot believe that I’m still doing just that. It’s been four freaking years and I’m still revising. I think I’m on draft six or seven. I haven’t been able to get the whole way through the story lately because it is such a drag to look at. Four years of reading the same paragraphs over and over again makes you kind of wonder why you thought this was great in the first place.
But it has to get done. Hubs commissioned cover art for my Christmas present and while the artist is still working on it, it’s coming. I have got to get this done and put out into the world at some point this year. But, it’s just so hard to find the love and enthusiasm I once felt for writing. I put it off, I blog, I clean the house, I find reasons to leave the house entirely. All just so I don’t have to work on revisions.
Writing is hard. You doubt yourself. You struggle through paragraphs, pages, chapters of words. You struggle to make sure your character grows and isn’t too whiny. You struggle to make sure your story weave is tight, patching up plot holes. You struggle to make sure your villain isn’t just evil for evil’s sake.
This has been the underlying reason for my depression lately. I feel really guilty that I just do not want to work on it anymore. But, I’m trying. Once upon a time I loved this story. I loved my protagonist and the world she belonged to. I want to feel that love once more, to dive deep into her world and begin pulling the strings of story together again.
When my cover art is done, I’m having it blown up into a poster to look at every day. I made this. I made a whole world with multi-faceted characters. I wrote a whole novel and I actually have the sequel (a shitty first draft) sitting on the back burner, waiting for me to give it tough love. I made this thing and it might help pay for my future dreams.
Writing is hard, but it’s worth it.