It has been a bit of a struggle lately with my depression weighing me down every moment that I’m alone. I’ve gained enough weight that I can no longer fit into a lot of my clothes and even some of the new clothes are tighter than I expected. I was working out, but I lost all motivation. Then, my husband is going back to school this fall and I said I would, too, but I cannot seem to make up my mind on what I want to do. What if we move somewhere for his job and I cannot find one in my field?
I really don’t want to think about any of it.
I want to think about what I do have. I want to think about what makes me happy right here and now. Gala Darling is all about self love and gratitude. She started Things I Love Thursdays as a way to stay grateful, to fight back the darkness of depression. So, I’m going to follow suit.
While my husband turns into a lobster in any kind of sunlight, I relish in it. I love to throw open all of the blinds and open windows on sunny days. He can retreat to his windowless gaming room, anyway. On Easter we spent a large amount of time sitting on my parents’ front porch in the sunshine, jokingly throwing things at one another.
Sunshine is such a healing thing for me.
Luna is still having issues getting along with our fat cat, Hex. She’s such a tiny bully and he’s become a big pushover. Still, it is incredibly sweet when I have both of them sleeping beside me on the couch or when we’re playing with the makeshift whack-a-mole contraption my hubs made for them (basically cardboard with holes cut out and we poke a straw through that they love to attack).
Winning their love has been incredibly rewarding. Hex follows me around the house like a dog. Luna is slowly coming out of her self induced exile. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that she learns to love Hex, too.
I have two squishables of my own and I bought one for my husband because he often steals one of mine. They are round stuffed animals made to look like almost anything. I have one of the large Cerberus squishables that acts as a back rest on my couch and a small Hippogriff that I sleep with at night.
Yes, I’m 26 and I still sleep with stuffed animals. You can blame my husband for that. He started it with a penguin pillow pet. There’s something comforting about hugging something soft while falling asleep. Sometimes, I put it aside and hug hubs.
I have been a lover of books since I could begin to pick out the words. I read anything and everything I could get my hands on when I was younger. I grew to have a more defined taste as I got older, but I’ll still branch out here and there to remind myself that all stories are worth while.
Story is something that I hold dear. It allows us to leave the troublesome world we’re stuck in and adventure across so many other worlds, mundane and fantastical. It teaches us lessons. It shows us love and perseverance. Story does so much for us.
These are a few things that I love in life, things that I’m grateful for. I want to keep doing this as a regular thing. I know that I need a little more gratitude for the things that are already in my life.